Fictional Imaginary Characters Court of Law and Error
by TouchedBytheAngel
Summary: A crack!one shot I've done as a present for my friend. Stephen Moffat is judged in the court of FICCLE, a court of law, order (and error!) where fictional characters gather. What will be his sentence?


p style="text-align: center;"strong...Guys, I don't even know. /strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;"strongoOo/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"F.I.C.C.L.E. (Fictional Imaginary Characters Court of Law and Error)/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Scene one, take one./span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Order in the court! Order in F.I.C.C.l.E! Let the accused be now brought forward./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Merlin and Arthur bring forward the first accused to the podium* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Stephen Moffat, you are today accused of violating all rules of decency, shattering people and especially young women's emotions and evoking innumerable tears, moping and outbursts of anger. Does the accused have anything to say before we proceed?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"They were emshows /emon a emtelevision! /em*throws up hands*/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Captain James Tiberius Kirk stands* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Wrong sir! These are people's emfeelings /emyou are crushing; you have violated every rule Star Fleet ever put down, and you don't respect the chair! You-/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Mr. Kirk if you would SIT DOWN, emplease./em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Kirk stands down*/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *resumes* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Stephen Moffat, you have a number of people with personal complaints against you, some of which will be brought forth today. However, because of the sheer emnumbers /emof the plaintiffs, it has been reduced to a less-substantial five people. Have you anything to say?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Why five?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *shrugs* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"It was personally requested as a reminder of the five seasons Merlin had before it was cancelled. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: …/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Ah./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Before we bring forward our plaintiffs, has the accused been granted an attorney?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Mark Gatiss shakily stands* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"He has, your honor. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *nods* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Then may we have our first witness?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Rory Williams: * stands to the front* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *peers through eyeglass* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"And what is your complaint?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"First Witness: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"I have been killed causelessly upon multiple occasions, lost those that I loved and waited for two-thousand emvery /emlong years waiting for my wife to be rescued. I mean, seriously, what's wrong with emtwo? /emOhem, /emand the only reason I lived, was because I had been turned into emPLASTIC! /em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Does the attorney offer any defense?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Mark Gatiss stands to the front* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"It offered Mr. Williams here a chance to show his quality! Waiting two-thousand years for his beloved was an excellent proof of the depth of his love. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Audience murmurs, Judge bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Order! Order in F.I.C.C.L.E!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"First Witness: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Well then perhaps we should put emyou /emoutside a box for a couple millennia and see how emyou /emlike it! See how evil you can be when you're made of bloody emplastic /emand you're still emfreezing! /em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Does the accused mount any defense?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"I thought the show of his suffering was an equal show of his courage. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*First witness turns away, disgusted* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Thank you, Mr. Williams. May the second witness now be brought forward?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Dean Winchester stands forward* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"But I didn't even emwrite /emyou emor /emyour show!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*From the back of the room, Robert Singer can be heard shouting, "/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Lies!"strong*/strong/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: *bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Gentlemen! We are all aware of your justifiable irritation towards the accused, but we are a court of Law and Order. emNot /em*stronginsert pointed look towards Captain Kirk* /strongVicious, mindless fiction. Stephen Moffat, are you not commonly associated with the grouping called SuperWhoLock?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"…Yes. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Now then, may the second witness state his plaintiff?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Dean Winchester: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Firstly, I share the First Witnesses' complaint in that I have been killed with emno good reason /emover 140 times. Did you know that? And 137 of them were in emthe same day!/em I have also upon numerable occasions emlost /emboth my best friend Cas and my brother Sammy, whom I would protect from anything. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Sounds of sympathy can be heard from the audience;/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" strongaccused rolls his eyes* /strong/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Second Witness (cont.): /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"You have collaboratively caused more pain and death in Supernatural alone than all the other shows I can think of emcombined./em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Mild sounds of protest from BBC's Merlin and Doctor Who*/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Second Witness: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Shut your pie-holes and let me finish. I think that this man as the exemplary figure to these murderers should be made accountable for what he's done. Maybe it's just because I'm Texan and Texans have a strong sense of justice, but my gut tells me I'm right. So I say we burn this son of a snitch in his own salt. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" Thank you for that eloquent and moving testimony, Mr. Winchester. You may sit down now, and kindly dispose of your sodium and matches in the trash-bin outside. Does the Accused offer any words in his own defense?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Mark Gatiss rises to the front:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" The accused was only an exemplary figure and had nothing to do with the events that took place. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Captain Kirk stands again* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"On the contrary, Influence is the most powerful thing of all! You were an example to others and you let them emdown, /emMr. Moffat; you showed them the wrong way to pilot these ships and you emdon't respect the-/em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: *bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Mr. Kirk! Kindly stand down or I shall have you and your noisy zygoma removed from this court!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Captain Kirk stands down, grumbling loudly* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow (resumed): /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"May the third witness be brought forward?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Belle stands forward* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Accused throws up hands and sighs* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: *bangs gavel* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Order! No contempt for F.I.C.C.L.E. shall be upheld! Miss Belle, you are associated with the TV show Once Upon a Time, yes?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Third Witness: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Yes, your honor. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" strong*smiles*/strong: I like her…such nice manners! Now, Miss Belle, what is your complaint?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Third witness shuffles with hands for some moments before answering, then whispers* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Rumple. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"I'm sorry; who?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Emma Swan stands*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"If you please, your honor, he is the…man Belle loves. They were a very hard ship in the show. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow/span/strongstrongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*nods*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Thank you, Miss Swan; I see. And what is your complaint about Mr.…Rumple?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Third Witness: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Not against emhim, /emyour honor…strong*looks down* /strongthe fact that he was forced to leave me. The…producers of the show took him away in order to search for his grandson. Who is supposed to destroy him, your honor. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" I see. strong*turns to Accused* /strongAnd what would have inspired you to take away such a lovely young lady's lover?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Accused:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" You're acting very sentimentally. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow *shrugs*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" I have a thing for dark hair and blue eyes. Does the Accused mount any defense?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Mark Gatiss:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" The series is certainly not over yet, your honor, and I'm sure the young lady's…friend will be returned to her in due time. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Dean Winchester *scoffs*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Yeah, that'll totally happen. I'm still waiting for Lisa! /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" strong*bangs gavel*: /strong May the fourth witness be brought forth?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*John Watson rises./span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" strongAudience murmurs, some can be heard murmuring, "Oh you are emso /emdead, Moffat." Jack Sparrow bangs his gavel; there is now an indention in the wood* /strong/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"And I suppose none of us have to ask what emyour /emcomplaint is, Mr. Watson?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fourth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" No. As I am sure you are all aware…*stronglooks down* /strongmy best friend…Sherlock…strong*throat catches* /strongis dead. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Audience groans; some put their heads in their hands, nearly all are glaring at Moffat* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"And Moffat killed him?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Accused:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" I did-/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Gatiss hastily covers his mouth, shushing him*/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Captain Kirk: *rises* /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"You see! He admits it! You, sir, are a emmurderer! /emYou killed innocent, unarmed Star-Fleet men and women, and emyou don't-/em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Captain Kirk is tased and dragged from the audience* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow *watches regretfully*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"He never did learn to shut his mouth…now then. Mr. Watson…do you have any further complaints?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fourth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Yes; several, in fact. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow *pushes wig out of eyes*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" List them, if you could be so kind. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fourth witness *nods and continues with some difficulty*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" My…sister, Harry, was originally emmy brother. /emWhile I know some fans find it humourous and possibly even appropriate I find it frankly disturbing, especially in light of the fact that not only is she now lesbian, she emleft /emher wife. She is a drinker and an addict with, in short, a ruined life and no prospects. She plays no major role in the show and yet Moffat still manages to destroy her. My emown /emsister. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Angry murmurs from audience* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Is that all, Mr. Watson?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fourth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" No, not nearly all, but for the sake of time it's all I shall relate on this day. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" And does the accused have any defense at the ready?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Mark Gatiss:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" …none, your honor. We were not aware Mr. Watson would be speaking today. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Capt./span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" strongJack Harkness:/strong Which simply shows the lack of an overall preparedness!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" Captain Jack, please don't make me start on you. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Capt./span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" strongJack *winks*: /strongAs you wish, emCaptain Jack. /em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Thank you, Captain Jack. Now may our fifth and final witness be brought forward please?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Momentary silence, at which length Mark Gatiss ascends the podium*/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Accused: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Mark? No, it can't be-/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fifth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"I'm sorry, Stephen, but it was just too much. The stress of it all; the brutalitystrong…*rubs temples*/strong/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"And what is your complaint?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fifth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" I work with emhim, /emof course! What worse punishment could there be? A minimal of two deaths per episode, plus rewrites, shooting, the actors' crying, the emfans /emcrying…the list just goes on. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" And does the accused offer any defense for himself…emby /emhimself?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Accused *throws up hands*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" This is bloody ridiculous. I've been betrayed by my own fellow writer! I thought we were emfriends, /emMark!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Fifth Witness:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" And I thought you said you'd never make Matt Smith regenerate. Look how that turned out. I'm sorry; Stephen…but I just can't trust you anymore. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"Jack Sparrow *turns to the Jury*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"And have the Jury reached a decision?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"*Sarah Jane Smith stands*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;" We have, your honor. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Dramatic, drawn-out pause*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"…guilty!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Audience roars with approval*/span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow *bangs gavel*: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Well then, Stephen Moffat, I hereby sentence you to be dropped off by TARDIS into Avalon with your companion Mark Gatiss, where you will watch all of those you love die over and over in multiple places not excluded to Avalon. They may jump off a roof, go mad, fall out of a TARDIS, or any number of other things, until you have witnessed the exact number of deaths you have caused to other characters. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*Audience again roars* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"This sentence is to be carried out immediately and without further ado. strong*rises* /strongThank you all./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Mark Gatiss:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" But-but…I helped you!/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Jack Sparrow *turns*:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" And also assisted in the mass murder of both feelings and fictional characters. However, your sentence should be somewhat lighter since you have killed less people, and especially because you would have let Sherlock walk away….emsans /emsheet. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Mark Gatiss:/span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;" That was brilliant, though, wasn't it?/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"*John Watson can be heard muttering as the various characters and members of the court rise to go* /span/strong/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"Moffat: /span/strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"At least I wasn't judged for the emupcoming /emseasons…I upped the killing rate by two. And as for poor Sherlock…/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"strongemspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"_*At this point the transcript was cut out due to a loss of a Temp who according to our news feed hurled herself upon Moffat and assisted in hurling him into the TARDIS, which then took him and his companion God knows where. The Doctor did not have the nicest of expressions on his face as he went…Gallifrey help him. Thank you for reading the latest updates to F.I.C.C.L.E.; serving criminals and their writers alike justice for over 2,000 years, or whenever Gallifrey fell.*_ /span/em/strong/p  
p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-align: center; text-indent: -.5in;" align="center"strongspan lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"-=-=-=-=-=-=-/span/strong/p 


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